


Penance

by weazelbeater



Series: Love and War [4]
Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: Angst and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gen, Guilt, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Minor Injuries, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, hardmode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 01:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5766679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weazelbeater/pseuds/weazelbeater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Habits. Harime. Hell. Heaven?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penance

 

 

 

A kiss.

Warmth.

A slippery, delicious electricity surge.

Dripping arousal stirs from deep within.

Ryuko draws back, hornier than she ever thought possible.

A harsh slap pushes away firm, tender sister-meat.

Her cruel mouth, still tingling from the buttery, delectable contact with quivering flesh, forms the words “Something to feel good about.”

Through a hazy curtain of _infinite power,_ she gazes intently at the nubile fuck toy before her.

Harime Nui gazes back wordlessly, cobalt eye of desire gleaming in sudden submission before the overpowering gentle/rough claws that just caressed her chin.

Savage thoughts reel in Ryuko’s fevered mind. ‘ _Speechless, of course. Heh…good! Why wouldn’t she be? It’s about time I shut her never-ending prattle-hole. A kiss for now…but endless meat-service will be served later, you little blonde rutting post_.’

She sets course, jettisoning slutty thoughts for murderous ones as her form streaks an arc of atmosphere-scorching red across the sky.

Words erupt from her jagged grin as sonic booms punctuate her delirious, fevered thoughts. “Now to kill the fucking Kiryuin family mistake. Should I rape her privately, or in front of all her friends? What do you say, Junketsu? What does my eldest deserve, hmm?’’

Violent flashbulbs of cortisol and adrenaline explode in her adrenal cortex, gifts of liquid-steel rage orchestrated by the parasite. Images twist and warp in her mind’s eye, to remind Ryuko of all the past indignation foisted upon her by that uppity whore.

“Yeah. You’re _right_! It _will_ be more humiliating if I _torture_ her in front of everyone. The better to savor her fall, if I can crush them all by toppling that uptight _bitch_ in front of an audience!”

Flooded with overwhelming surges of endorphins, Ryuko rolls her eyes back into their sockets. Long chains of neuropeptides form and lash within her quivering brain jelly, a reward for being such an enthusiastic participant in Kiryuin Ragyo’s march towards planetary catastrophe.

Ryuko’s fiber-augmented senses expand exponentially outwards, pinpointing with ease the tiny hunk of metal that her sister’s pitiful band of resistance fighters clung to in what she was about to arrange as their final moments.

She grins wildly, fists of titanium clenched as the hell-bent girl zeroes in on her target. “Here I come, sis! No foreplay, just coming in **hard**! _Brace yourself!_ ”

-

Ryuko bolted upright, iron fingers clawing at her throat from the agonizing scream that could not escape. Terror bathed her in coldest fear-pain, sweat pouring down her steel-tense body in hot rivulets. Uncontrollably shaking hands pushed back damp locks of hair in panicked swipes.

She peered across the bed, over to the motionless form that outlined her sister’s shape. Detecting no movement, the traumatized youth slipped out from under the sheets and padded her way silently down the hall. Darting out through a back entrance, she made her way to the estate’s rear garden.

Moonlight faithfully guided her through a cold flagstone path to the garden’s entrance: here, she sat down upon the ornate pink granite bench that awaited those fatigued souls who needed a moment’s respite from their vast botanical tour.

She leaned over and plucked away a certain well-positioned stone to reveal a pack of cigarettes, which she desperately grabbed. She distantly noticed that her hand did all the shaking automatically as a single, stale tobacco tube fell out of the pack: no conscious effort was required.

Ryuko shivered in the night’s chill as she struggled to spark the cheap lighter to do its work. Frantic pawing at the orange cylinder finally produced a flame as she greedily sucked in the first hot scorch of smoke.

The gleam from the cigarette could have been mistaken for a hyperactive (or perhaps drunk) firefly, as it was flicking and jolting about so much in her hands. She muttered to herself a panicked mantra of “Whatthe _fuck_. Whatthe _fuck_. Whatthe _fuck..._ ” as she tried to pump the brakes harder, to no effect.

Ryuko pounded her thigh as she mumbled out loud “The fuck _was_ that? That was…real. That _happened_. I know it did. I remember now…what the _fuck_ did I almost  do? I was going to kill them _all_ …what the ever living fuck was I _thinking_ …?”

“It’s not your fault, Ryuko.” The voice, firm as it was somber, issued forth from a darkened corner of the precisely-shaped topiary wall. Satsuki emerged from the shadows, silk nightgown illuminated by the moon to appear as though a floating phantom was conjured by the dark nicotine ritual.

“ _SHIT!_ ” Ryuko spat as she compulsively flicked the cigarette away, as if to somehow deny her association with the offending object. Cold fear was flash-welded to guilt on the spot as she tried to mentally search the ol’ ‘caught-in-the-act’ delinquent excuse stash and found it already emptied out onto the bench before Cigarette Police Commandant Kiryuin Satsuki.

“I’m so s-sorry, Sats! I c’n explain, I mean, I’m n-not…uhhh…” Her lips were not ready for words just yet, her nerves still raw from tonight’s panicked hell. She pushed some hapless words out onto the stage anyways, hoping their awkward dance could somehow possibly cover for her innocence play’s opening night jitters.

“Ryuko. Please _relax_. I’ve known about the smoking. I do not care about that right now…I care about _you_. Tell me what is wrong.” Satsuki’s voice was so steady, so reassuring in its tone. It was obviously a front for the death march that was sure to follow such a hideous act.

Ryuko clutched for straws, for utensils, hell, for anything that might dig her out of _this_ treacherous pit. “Wh-what do you mean? This is m-my first one? Why, I j-just wanted to try and see if-“

“ _Matoi_. This is your eleventh cigarette since you moved in. Look down and tell me how many currently reside in that pack, please.” The voice was resolute and demanded respect.

One eyeball furtively glanced inside the box. Nine speckled orange filter tips stared back, shrugging their guilty little shoulders at the cold, hard facts as they were presented.

“…shit.” Ryuko crushed the box, grinding the pack into a pulverized body bag of powdered tobacco.

“Okay, onee-sama. Ya got me. I suck. Go ahead, lemme have it. I won’t even defend myself. I deserve it…” Eyes cast down in shame, the full weight of guilt bore down hard with the knowledge that she had utterly failed her sister’s faith in her…again.

Satsuki silently glided over to her sister’s side, looking down upon her with a genuine look of concern. Ryuko’s sad gaze lifted up to meet it, and Satsuki simply placed her hand behind the young girl’s head and gently guided it to rest upon her own silken hip.

Ryuko submitted to the careful nudge, forehead leaning casually upon firmly toned flesh. She braced for the rebuke, the backhand, the chastisement…but none came. Just the sound of Satsuki’s nails gently scratching against her scalp in a comforting rhythm.

Satsuki murmured quietly down to her troubled sister’s shaggy mop. “You don’t have to talk about it, you know. I _want_ you to…but I will _not_ force you. Not ever. I want you to know this.”

“You…do not want _this_ poisoning your mind, too. Trust me.” Ryuko robotically intoned.

“Perhaps. But perhaps I am immune to it already. Small doses of poison, taken over time, can build up a surprising tolerance. _You_ might be surprised, Ryuko.”

A limp shrug signaled the surrender of Ryuko’s already-weak nerve. “…fine. I…had a bad recollection.”

Satsuki’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Do you mean that you had a ‘nightmare’, imouto? I awoke the moment I felt you shaking. I did not want to startle you, but I needed to know if you were okay…”

Ryuko growled, neck hair spontaneously raising in response to a cold prickle of goosebumps. “I know what I said. I _lived_ a nightmare. The dream I just had was only a recollection _from_ that nightmare. A memory, only just now working its way loose. CONK! Right on ya fuckin’ head, idiot Matoi! Ain’t that a bitch? The bitch known as Harime Nui.”

Her elder sister grimaced: whatever this was, it could not have possibly been a wholesome or sane experience if Nui was involved. “Ah. The half-sister.”

Ryuko spun around, canines gleaming dangerously from tautly retracted lips. “That _thing_ was no ‘sister’ of any kind! She was pure fuckin’ evil! The th-things she did…made me _do_!”

“Do not mistake desire for facts. I would prefer to not regard her as anything but a sordid mistake of existence. Yet a blood relative she was, to both myself and you as well. She was of Ragyo’s own flesh, as are we.”

Sputtered words fell like molten slag from a white-hot crucible. “B-but she was a fucking monster! A fiber-birthed horror! You can’t possibly _believe_ that she was actually our-“

“Ryuko, perception and reality are two different things. Yes, Harime was a twisted, pathetic wreck of a soul…a chimera of human form and evil intent. This does not change the status of her DNA, mangled though it was.” She gripped Ryuko’s shoulder gently, offering what comfort she could.

Satsuki’s breathing was kept even, her mind a pure situational analysis machine. Adding her own bile to Ryuko’s catharsis would not help anyone in the slightest. Besides, that’s what the punching bag in the gymnasium is for, when her sibling wasn’t around to witness it.

“After what _she_ did…? To you? To me…and everyone we love? You’ll still consider her _blood_? Sats, fuck me fer askin’, but why? It’s okay to hate that venomous, cancerous, radioactive…vile…fuckin’… _cunt_!” Ryuko shook her fist, joints popping from the extreme pressure that was occurring within. Diamonds have formed from less pressure.

Kiryuin Satsuki spoke in her husky, carefully crafted monotone, passing down her own personal judgment of Harime Nui’s existence. “In the end, I only felt _pity_ for that creature. She was created under the most horrifying of circumstances, a throwaway means to an end. Mother did not love her in the slightest. At that point, Mother could not love, or even conceive of love in any fashion.”

Her jaw set in stone, she tried to preserve the rapport she was nurturing with her one beautiful sister, all while accurately describing the existential horror that was the other.

“Tell me, Ryuko. Do you know _why_ Nui acted the way she did? Have you ever considered that? Do you honestly believe that her actions were of any creature that experienced an actual human developmental cycle?” Satsuki pressed on, eager to make the point…and then never visit the subject again.

Ryuko shrugged, not understanding the point to this conversation, but playing along to humor her sister. When Satsuki’s face took on _that_ expression…it was just better to weather the storm, rather than incur more wrath.

“She was _programmed_ that way, Ryuko. Do you think a life fiber womb could raise a child properly? Do you think _Ragyo_ could? No… _her_ mind was a wholly created template, formulated to represent the joyful, ‘utterly-appreciative-of-all-things-French’ daughter she never had.”

Dead silence. Ryuko stood there, warring factions of hate, confusion and pain bringing her motions, both physical and mental, to an absolute zero standstill. No molecules moved at this temperature, just a steadfast, frozen glare as she waited for Satsuki to continue.

Satsuki confronted the legendary coiled stubbornness of Matoi Ryuko with only truth and honesty as her sword and shield. “Nui was a figment, a tool, a weapon, a placebo. She was a stand-in flesh puppet mechanism who was born, no… _manufactured_ unto several utilitarian roles. She was not born into a ‘loving family environment’ by any stretch of the imagination…she was conjured by technicians and sorcerers.”

Satsuki answered Ryuko’s wrinkled nose of disbelief with feint and parry. “I’m fairly certain…and I am not sure of the _exact_ mechanism employed by those unholy bastards who served Mother’s every whim…but I _am_ certain that her personality was a poorly researched patchwork of neural/fiber hybrid programs. The wetware basis of which being that of an idealized ‘perfect for Mother’s twisted psyche and ego’ concept, put forth into motion by clueless, soulless _idiots_. Why else would she act as though she was a poorly-animated ultra-cutesy cartoon character? Ryuko, she  was one.”

Satsuki opened her hands outward in the general direction of Ryuko’s seething steel-spring form, calculating in real-time the odds of either fury-driven explosion or emotional collapse. It was too difficult to divine which, so she subtly prepared her stance for both, either scenario being equally likely at this point.

“They stitched together a personality of sorts, based upon what they _thought_ Mother might appreciate. A little bit of tawdry eroticism here, a slavish desire to please Ragyo at all costs there, an entirely unhealthy dose of childish Lolita-fashioned ‘cuteness’…but the human-loathing hatred? That came from _herself_.”

Satsuki had a sudden, new-found respect for bull fighters and snake charmers. If she were a lesser being, a rivulet of urine might stain her silken gown at the pure, unadulterated fear of being this close to volcanic oblivion.

She hazily recalled once, as a child, of being too close to the train platform as the _Shinkansen_ rushed into the station. That inexorable pressure wave, that feeling of massively powerful _something_ …threatening to suction her away, writhing right next to her… _that_ dreadful feeling was here.

But she was Kiryuin Satsuki…and _nothing_ , be it creature, machine or threat of annihilation, would _ever_ cause her to break from her juggernaut progress. To waver even the slightest from rescuing her sister’s soul. Upon pain, even, of death? **_So be it_.**

“I personally witnessed the transformation myself. It took them _years_ to mold her into the semblance of a functional ‘human’ being. It’s as if they just…referenced a few choice articles on child development, Japanese fashion and sadism and stapled it together, just to get the damned thing out the _door_. They were quite incompetent, you see…so Mother took over the developmental aspects.”

Satsuki allowed herself to show a slight, mirthless grin here. “As you can see, that didn’t exactly…work out either. Ragyo instilled an overwhelmingly strong desire to please her own arrogant self within Nui, and somewhere inside all that nightmare creature’s woven carcass…was a little human girl who only wanted to please her ‘ _Maman_ ’. However, hating humans, she ended up despising that very part of herself. This manifested as a palpable distaste of the human race in general.”

Satsuki regarded Ryuko with a sober eye. With trace amounts of hate contaminating her speech, she poured out a vial of emotional acid out for Ryuko to witness. “She never did get the ‘mother’s love’ that she so desperately craved. I sincerely believe that this was what tipped her over…it drove Harime Nui absolutely, irrevocably _insane._ ”

“Mother of the year… _to end all years_.” Ryuko hissed, mouth not betraying any movement as she spoke. Satsuki shivered slightly, wondering exactly how much meaning Ryuko invested in crafting that line.

“One cannot join together human DNA and life fibers together at the molecular level without creating a paradox: a half-human, half-alien fusion where each half harbors a fundamentally different desire? Humans live to love, build, to grow. Life fibers live to subjugate, hijack, to destroy. An untenable yin and yang…unless the balance is skewed, yes?”

Ryuko looked down at Satsuki’s hands, face contorted with a complex vortex of emotions vying to win the Battle for Matoi’s Features. Anger and sadness locked in a bitter stalemate, she slowly slumped to her knees. She could not force herself to seek desperate refuge in those loving, warm arms…but also could not signal a decisive retreat to her quivering legs either.

Panic slithered in the back of Kiryuin Satsuki’s thoughts: she spiked it to the floor without hesitation, as hesitation lost battles such as this. “Ryuko, I _need_ you to understand. You are, by far, more human than fiber. She was the _opposite_. You are love…she was hate. Yes, there is the other half within you, as there was in her as well. She _could not live_ in this world. _You can_. If you would but _trust yourself_.”

Gear-shaped pupils dilated to the point where she could reach inside and caress the moon’s entire reflection, Satsuki fell in love all over again at the sheer _beauty_ , the pure, raw element of being that was Matoi Ryuko, flesh of her flesh, heart of her heart.

“I…don’ evr wanna hrt you, Sats. Yr too mportn’…love ya…too much…don…wan’…t-ta… _die_ wthout you in m’ life…!” Ryuko chattered through shaking teeth, uncontrollably trembling muscles causing her speech to heedlessly disintegrate. She held onto herself, the only thing she could cling to right now without fear of utterly crushing it between freakishly strong hands.

Satsuki hoarsely whispered “Ryuko…” She was barely able to even force the word out through such a dry desert, said word nearly dying of dehydration before being discovered by Ryuko’s strained hearing.

Ryuko detachedly observed of herself: her tears wouldn’t come. They simply were not there. _Humans_ cry. That’s what they do. That’s why there was no moisture, breaking over the hills of her cheeks, racing down the long pass of her neck towards the valley of pale cleavage. That was her own pet theory, and the evidence was in.

It made sense now, why she was a hot-headed, savage, violent ball of fists. She was just a life support system for an alien fiber-beast, sent to snuff out _all_ life….for her _entire_ life.

-

Her hypothesis was undermined by a new observation in the field. It was witnessed that one Kiryuin Satsuki, previously thought to be utterly indomitable and adamantine in her will and posture…broke.

Brought to her own knees with a painful - _slap-_ of hard patellas against harder concrete, the beautiful specimen of inhuman courage fell victim to the very human phenomenon of heartbreak, laced with nuclear _panic_. Grimace of tear-slicked steel was joined to contorted mask of agony as she raised her grasping claws to her own chest.

Pained lungs wheezed out tortured jags of shrapnel, dashed together in a panicked message of desperation. “ _No_ , ’Ry’ko, you…never. Never. Leave. Me. Can’t… _die_. Don’t leave…me…alone! I-d-do…any-thing…I love…“

Ryuko’s eyes contracted, unable to compute the impossible image of _the_ almighty Kiryuin Satsuki…on her knees, clutching at her own chest… _begging_? For _what_? _Why_?

“S-Satsuki…wh-what the fuck are ya… _doin’_..? P-please don’t do th-this? No, you don’t _do_ this…ya can’t? Not possible…? S-stop? Please, onee-sama…stop?” Her trembling fingers sought out Satsuki’s own, clutching at the twitching digits as they scratched weakly at the air between them.

The fuse smoldered, sparkled, sputtered, caught…then went up all at once. “C-can’t… _can’t_! CAN’T! Can’t LOSE YOU _AGAIN! Will NOT! Ryuko! I WILL NOT LOSE YOU EVER AGAIN!_”

What started as a plea grew to a runaway surge. Isotopes of repressed fear were atom-split by the singular failure of her mental shield surrounding the demon core of her life’s compressed pain.

Behind Satsuki’s panic-overridden eyes, she saw not Ryuko as she was before her, stinking of tobacco and shame as she knelt before her. She witnessed her sister’s incinerated corpse, stinking of burnt kamui and death as she re-entered the atmosphere before her.

Her worst-ever nightmare scenario, playing out now before her, utterly dwarfed whatever rape-fueled atrocities she had endured before this. She begged, pleaded, cajoled, offered her very _soul_ to whatever deity would take but a moment to pluck her dear sister’s soul from the sky and deliver it to her own arms safely…but no god answered the call as the - _thrum_ \- of impact crashed into her body, informing her that all was _lost_ in that fateful moment.

The heat of shame mixed with the spray of guilt: a thermobaric reaction consumed all available oxygen in her taxed lungs as her mind reached auto-ignition temperature.

Satsuki stabbed frenzied limbs to the sky, screaming out “ _HANG IN THERE!_ RYUKOOOO! _GYAAA **AAAARRHH** HHH-_hhhhkktckh-k-k-t-” until her throat surpassed the ability to sustain such a savage note and failed altogether.

Whistled heaves issued forth from her ruined vocal cords, raw from overexertion. Hot tears flooded from unbelieving-open eyes, seeing, actually _seeing_ her beloved, long-lost, truly loved sister’s form impact the unforgiving, cold ground.

Satsuki scrabbled at Ryuko’s cold thighs weakly, trying to convince the powers that be to give her _just one more chance_ to save her beloved imouto-chan this time. Just _one_! Success would be  guaranteed! Victory was assured! Kiryuin Satsuki would _find a way_!

Glistening blood trailed behind her shuffling kneecaps, skin ground and shredded from the unforgiving concrete. She pawed weakly at her sister’s crumpled, chilly legs, baying drawn out barks of sobbed epithets at _whatever_ or _whoever_ allowed this atrocity to happen…knowing full well it was her own pitifully weak self who betrayed her.

-

Ryuko whispered weakly “Satsuki? I’m here…you _saved_ me, remember? S-Sats?...s-sis? Please?” as she hovered quaking hands above Satsuki’s prostrate form, bowed down before her in what could easily be mistaken as worship. Fearing to make contact and cause another catastrophe, she nevertheless braved the current and gingerly nudged a shoulder.

Nothing. A harsh, repetitive squeaking sob was all that rewarded her effort.

“Oh, my god. Sats, what…what the fuck just happened? SATSUKI? WAKE UP! Please, you’re _scaring_ me!” Ryuko shakily squeezed her sister’s limp arm.

Still nothing. Fighting the urge to hyperventilate, and only succeeding in suppressing two-thirds of that, she reached over and rolled her sister’s form over. A pale face, pinched into a crushed mess of weeping regret, lolled upwards to greet her own.

A gasp fired out, pulling the plug on the reservoir of tears Ryuko was so certain she no longer possessed. Huge braying sobs exploded from her throat as Ryuko grasped her dear onee-san’s semi-conscious head.

“F-fuckin’…no…wh- _what ‘m I gonna d-do_ …fuck! Stop it, asshole! She _needs_ you! Get yer shit  together!” Her coiled fist, famous for breaking dominion over her own fiber-woven mind, once again broke through to a saner Matoi as she bashed herself with a heavyweight punch.

Blood trickled down from one nostril. Ryuko snuffled it back as she soberly leaned over and carefully gathered the prone form of Kiryuin Satsuki in her embrace, then bolted for the mansion door.

With a velocity that would have earned her a cool ¥100,000 traffic violation on the German Autobahn, Ryuko bounded through the garden to the rear entrance. Deftly nudging the door open with her foot, Ryuko glided over to the nearest couch and gently set Satsuki’s body down.

Head propped up onto a hastily-stuffed pillow, Ryuko leaned down and placed a gentle kiss down upon a clammy forehead. “I’ll be right back, I promise. I’ll _never_ be gone for good.”

The solid _tump-tump-tump_ of piston-driven feet receded down the cavernous hall. Satsuki moaned, stirred and tossed. Her ears were the first to prick up out of her unconscious state, perceiving a far-off series of thuds, blurted curses and strange shuffling. Having nothing else to do in her current non-state, she idly focused upon the noises, wondering what they meant.

The solid _tump-tump-tump_ of piston-driven feet approached: Satsuki likened it to a rapid heartbeat. But somehow wooden. A wooden heart? What could that even be? Well, _that_ doesn’t compute, Kiryuin. Try again?

She did, and heard the thudding noise grow closer. Nearby bookcases shook slightly, and her reassessment’s next stab was that of an approaching earthquake. _No_ , I will not allow _that_. It would upset my bonsai tree. What else could it be, though? Think, idiot girl!

Listening once again, she distinctly heard the huffing and puffing of a…wolf. Oh, no. A wolf? Puffing? Not…pigs? Not more _pigs_? I can’t stand pigs! Damned clothing wearing pigs! Oh, that will not do. I simply must get a broom. I will chase them away from Kiryuin Castle!

Gentle hands, behind head, eased onto…more soft pillows?

Well, that’s nice. Pillows are nice. How did they get there, I wonder? I feel all floaty. Soft. Hands are rough. Female, can tell that much. But not rude. Kind. Loving? Felt…a chipped nail: index, left. Chewed. Just like Ryuko. Nail she nibbles when upset. Worried? Hmm.

 _Ryuko!_ Love! No…died. I saw it. I failed. FAILED. Fool. Weak. _Stupid_. Shame.  Die. Go to hell. _Deserve_ it. Can smell it. Fire. Brimstone. No…not that. More like… _tobacco_. Pig! Who would _dare_? In  my presence?

“…hey…Satsuki? Sweetie? Ya there for me? Hey, c’mon. I got somethin’ for ya. C’mere, jus’ lift up and drink this, take this pill please. Please? Okay, theeere ya go. ‘Kay, now jus’ oooone more pill. There, good. Good. Ssshhhhhhh. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll take care of you…nee-san…”

Voice is _so_ familiar. Ryuko? _Has_ to be…unmistakable! But… how? She died. Saw it, clear as day. Ow. Heart pain. _Hurt._ Ow. No…stop. Please…too much! Too much…want to die. Die, stupid loser, who could not save Ryuko. Die.

 _Wait…_ Kiryuin? What if…I _am_ dead? Yes… yes! Makes perfect sense. Ryuko’s voice. Love. Soft. Floaty. _Heaven._ Afterlife. Yes! So happy. _Need_ to see her again. Worth it. _All_ worth it, if I see her again.

Must. Open. Eyes. See Ryuko. Happy. Ow.

Lights. Open eyes. Ow. Can see form. Shape like feathery hair, red streak hanging down…- _gasp_ -! _RYUKO!_ You’re here! Oh, I’m so _very_ happy, my beautiful imouto-san!

It was worth it. Everything I did. _Everything._ To see you again. Don’t care what it took. Worth the world to me. Forever.

“Heyyy, sleepy head! I’m sooo glad you’re awake. You scared the living _shit_ out of me! I was afraid that you-aw, no, stop it, nee-san. No crying, okay? _Please_? No need for  that now…come on, now. I’m right here, yes, me. Ryuko. Remember? You _saved_ me. Yup, ya did. You saved me…and ya keep on doing it, too. I mus’ be worth somethin’, else you’da put me out fer the recycling bin, right?”

Satsuki blearily focused upon the nose, then eyes, then the huge grin of a rather alive-looking Matoi Ryuko. Her eyes twitched, crossed momentarily, then came back in sharp animated focus as they took in the welcome sight of a happily beaming Ryuko.

“Whass…whass up? My…beautiful angel? I’m so sorry, my imouto. So sorry…failed you.” Satsuki burbled weakly, tears dripping down to form ticklish pools of annoyance in her delicate ears.

Ryuko wiped away sneaky tears of her own, giggling even as she cocked her head quizzically at the off remark. “Sorry fer wha’? Ya mean, worryin’ me to _death_? Yeah, tha’s true.”

Satsuki struggled up, grabbing at Ryuko as fresh moisture replenished itself in her eyes. “Death? S’true? Dead? No, please, no! NO!” Her panic rose sharply, then quickly crashed into a fuzzy dome ceiling of…not able to panic. She tried again, to raise the ire of…nope. She just felt…woozy. Fuzzy. Unfocused. Her eyelids felt the tremendous pull of gravity. It was, for some odd reason or another, bullying her into closing her eyes and laying back down.

“Don’t ask about where I got it, or even why I have it. You’re feelin’ the Solanax and acetaminophen I gave ya, okay? I can’t take the risk of another panic attack like that one, okay? Please don’t be mad…I didn’t know what else to do, Sats…okay? I freaked out…”

Satsuki shrugged, laying back and surrendering to the pillow’s comfort. Heroically fighting the drowsiness that burned at her mind’s edge, she mumbled an urgent plea. “Ryuko…you are alive? For real…alive?”

“Alive. For _real_ , Satsy-kins. Here to royally piss ya off…forever, you _hear_ me? I love you… _forever._ ”

A nod, jerky but obviously pleased. “Forever…” she mumbled as Morpheus stole her away for a trip to ‘No Dreams Today, Sorry’: Brought to you by tranquilizers!'

 

 

-

 

“Ow.”

“Stay still, okay? I’m almost done.”

“Yes, of course. I apologize. It’s just that this edge here, sticking out? Well…it simply has to go. The skin will catch and interfere with my woolen dress slacks, I can tell. Let me just…there.”

“Sats! Dammit! Now it’s bleeding even more! I only brought so much gauze, ya dummy!”

“It was for the best. Now, there will not be such an unsightly lump.”

“Oh, sure. Jus’ rip it right off, why don’cha?”

“Well, as you can plainly see…I just did.”

“God _DAMMIT_! Stop hurting yourself! _I’m_ in charge here, got it? Ya wanna go over to the Mankanshoku Clinic? Eh? I can just drop your ungrateful ass right on the doorstep.”

“No, no…that’s…quite all right.”

“Yeah? I’m sure Doctor Mankanshoku would just _jump_ at the chance to tend _this_ hot little pair of knees…”

“I don’t want to impose.”

“He won’t mind.”

“It’s too early in the morning to go there.”

“Clinic is open twenty four hours, Satsuki.”

“Rush hour would be starting up soon. It would take an inordinate amount of time to-“

“I c’n _run_ ya there in less than fifteen minutes.”

“You wouldn’t…”

“You _know_ I would.”

“- _tch_ \- Very well.”

“That’s right. Now _stay there_. Nurse Matoi’s got this!”

“Very - _nfff_ \- well.”

“Sorry. There’s little rocks in there. I gotta pick ‘em out. You don’t think these are broken, do ya?”

“Mmm, no. A broken kneecap hurts much more than this. Merely flesh wounds, abrasions. Nothing more.”

“Oh. Well, that’s a relief. Never broke my kneecap before. That would suck!”

“Mm. It did.”

“Did’ja need surgery?”

“Oh, no. It was just a stable vertical fracture. I needed to be more mindful of my front leg’s placement while in that stance, anyways. It was a valuable lesson.”

“Yeah. And ya learn to keep yer fists up high for defense, especially when throwing a punch. Lost a tooth, learning that. Only a baby tooth, but still. Oh, and to not bend yer wrist while punching… _yeah_ , that’s a nice first lesson. Earned a fractured wrist.”

“True. Pain _is_ an excellent teacher. Always track your opponents, _always_ plan a minimum of three steps ahead. A broken collarbone awaits if you fail to do so.”

“Yup, been there. Cracked sternum, too.”

“Mmm. Dislocated shoulders, as well.”

“Oh, I _hate_ it when that happens! You have ta either find someone who ain’t squeamish to help pop that sucker back in there, or do it yerself with a wall or something. Yeah, walls were the only helpers I could count on in those days. Man, _that_ was irritating.”

“I agree. As is a broken toe. You wouldn’t suspect such a small part of one’s anatomy could produce _that_ much distraction, yet there it is, pulsing away. Throwing off your concentration and aim.”

“Yeah, that’s _right_! Or when you break _all_ your fingers and have to rely on your forehead to finish the fight?”

“I…cannot say that I have experienced this.”

“Aw…well, you ain’t missing much there. ‘Cept fer a huge headache and tryin’ to live off soup for a week ‘cause ya can’t use chopsticks an’ everyone’s too scared to help ya eat!”

“Imouto…I’m so sorry.”

“Aw, c’mon. It made me tough! I’m a frickin’ tank, no pain stops me, right? Heh…I mean, it gets better results, ya know? Bein’ feared as an unstoppable ass kicker can sometimes be more useful than bein’ loved as a suck-off artist, ya know?”

“I am unfamiliar with the term? Please explain.”

“Oh…um…well, ya see…I - _ahem_ \- maybe got tired of bein’ bumped from school to school and wanted to try to take a different approach. To, y’know…being accepted, or maybe making friends. Or just maybe I was sick of getting the shit kicked out of me every day, every place I went. So, instead of seeking out the top dog and making him my bitch like I _usually_ did, I…uh…well…you know.”

”No, I do not ‘know’. What did you do, pay them off? I can’t imagine you had any assets to your name at that point in time?”

“Well, um…’paying them off’ isn’t the exact term I would use…heh-heh-heh…sorta close, though?

“Ryuko, I do not understand? What happened?”

“L-look, you weren’t _there_. It made sense at the time…plus I was starting to kinda maybe like guys for more than just punching and kicking practice, y'know? So I…ah, kinda...blew them a few times.”

“A-are you referring to oral sex?”

“- _sigh_ \- Yes, I am and…SO WHAT? It didn’t work out anyways. Ya do that, and they start to lord over ya. Like they’ve won. It was a mistake, _all right_? I went back to the ass kicking pretty quickly, but I still had _that_ stigma hanging over me until I moved on again to yet another school.”

“I used to need attention, _any_ attention. Father never provided any at all…hell, I’m not even entirely sure he actually loved me, of if I was just a means to an end, like Nui in some weird way. A useful tool of revenge…I’ve done shameful, degrading things. Ass kicking got more respect, better results. A tiny bit of affection just ain’t worth the shame afterwards.”

“But then Senketsu bonded with me, and for the first time I felt truly accepted by someone who _knew_ who I was, knew my innermost thoughts…and loved me _anyways_. He was there for me _all the time_. So yeah, when he died, a big part of me did as well. I thought I’d have ta go back to the way I was before…but then… _you_. Now you are taking that role.”

“I wasn’t judging you, Matoi. Please understand this. I know how you feel.”

“How? Were _you_ sucking cock for some attention,  too?”

“No. I was murdering people for my mother.”

“…what?”

“You heard me.”

“…I didn’t know _that_. I-“

“Of course you didn’t. _No one did_. Mother demanded _absolute_ loyalty. Sometimes I had to…prove it.”

“Buh-but…I mean, who did-“

“Certain REVOCS competitors. Holdouts. Resistance to hostile takeovers, instigators of monopolistic lawsuits, that sort of thing. Mercy was secretly arranged when I was able, certainly. But…sometimes it was simply not feasible. Ragyo had eyes and ears _everywhere_. So…people died.”

“…o-oh. I’m so sorry. No, I- _sorry_ just doesn’t even begin to cover it…Sats-“

“Ryuko. I will be spending the rest of my life paying my penance. I’m not just guilty of harboring ambition…of using people as a means to an end. I have done much, much worse. A friend once said to me that I had done evil things, but was not myself evil. Perhaps the day will come when I can say this and believe it. It does not change the fact that I _am_ a _murderer_.”

“Satsuki. I can’t speak to what I might have done in your place. I may have done the same, or even worse. We’ll never know. But one thing I do know? You didn’t have much of a choice. Not since you were little. This isn’t your fault. It’s _hers_. You _know_ this. I ain’t askin’…I’m _tellin_ ’. You _cannot_ blame yourself for this.”

“Ah. Were it that easy…”

“I didn’t say ‘ _easy_ ’! God _dammit_! Satsuki, we don’t get ‘ _easy’_! _We_ never did! Never  will! I ain’t askin’ ya to just snap some fingers and say ‘ _Poof! All gone, tee hee!_ ’ like that! If it _was_ ever that easy? Then yes, you  would be a fucking monster like _her_ …but you are _not_! Ya  hear me, Kiryuin? If anything, this makes so much more _sense_ , for why you act the way you do! This… _this_ is proof that you are blessedly _normal_!”

“I would not use _that_ word to-“

“I KNOW WHAT WORD I USED! Dammit, this…all of this. I feel like I finally understand.”

“Then I would understand if you no longer wish to associate with me.”

* _SMACK_ *

“Ah! Ryuko! How-how _DARE_ you-“

“SHADDAP, YA SHIT HEAD! Get it THROUGH that stubborn, thick, beautiful, gorgeous, irritating SKULL of yours! I fucking LOVE you! _GET IT_? I _need_ you! I don’t care what ya did! It’s just another problem to solve! I’ll FIND a way! You mean too much to me! _You mean EVERYTHING to me!_ Stop hinting at any future that doesn’t have us both _together_ in it! I’LL DIE BEFORE I ALLOW THAT TO PASS!”

“…I…I see.”

“Are ya _SURE_? Maybe I gotta yell at ya some  more, really get my _point_ across?”

“No, I have received the message. I absolutely understand.”

“Okay. Well, then. Now _that’s_ out of the way…move over.”

“All right? What are you-“

“I need to snuggle. You scared the crap out of me. So now you owe me love…and attention, and a kiss, and a foot rub, and a pizza.”

“All that? Really? This is a hefty fine, I fear. Must it be paid all at once?”

“Naw, course not. Pizza ain’t until _tonight_. Movie date night! Cancel yer Roomba lesson or whatever.”

“Ah, that’s ’Zumba’.”

“ _Whatever_. No, I’ll take the love and attention now, and you can pay installments as you go on the rest.”

“I find this to be fair. I truly am sorry for the way I behaved. I would never even think of hurting or scaring you.”

“Yeah, well…I’m sorry I yelled at you. Oh, and smacked you. Really sorry about that. We are pretty fucked up. Y’know? It’s to be expected, I guess. When two incredibly sexy high school girls use sentient armor aliens to save the planet from a hyper-evil rainbow-tarded super bitch and her life-threatening home economics sewing projects, I guess life might be a bit…weird?”

“Well, Ryuko…when you put it _that_ way…”

“Heh, yeah. Weird is our way of life. May as well get used to it.”

“Perhaps.”

“Mmm, yep.”

“Imouto?”

“Yeah, sis?”

“Why the smoking?”

“Force of habit. You think I could try and hang with a gang of juvenile delinquents and _not_ pick up smoking? It’s like the ‘tough guy’ rite of passage or somethin’. Shit, obviously I found a lot of embarrassing things to _suck on_ in school, yeah?”

“Hey. Sshhh…don’t.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Oh, and please _do_ brush your teeth before requesting the kiss balance in my ledger. Your nicotine breath is atrocious.”

“Yeah, uh…smoking is kinda nasty. I’ll do that, I promise.”

“Thank you. Is it most appreciated.”

“’Kay. Hey Sats, you know what _else_ I promise?”

“What’s that, Ryuko?”

“To never, _ever_ leave you. No matter what.”

“…that…that would be nice as well - _sniff_ -.”

“Hey, c-mon. None of that. Just…enjoy this, ‘kay?”

“O-okay. I’ll - _sniff_ \- try. I promise.”

“Deal.”

“…deal…”

“Hey, Sats?”

“Hmm?”

“Yer boobs make the _best_ damned pillows. Like heaven, y’know?”

“Yes. _Heaven._ Soft. Floaty. I know.”

“Mmm, right on. Love ya.”

“Love you, too. My _angel_.”

“…aw.”

 

-

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to 'Swords to Plowshares'.
> 
> Had to break this down, parts are getting way too long, words are swarming over, taking control. "Tell one little story", my ass. It'll be at least six, now. Dammit.
> 
> Content notes:
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinkansen
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demon_core
> 
> Solanax: Alprazolam, as sold in Japan. Also known as Xanax.


End file.
